Marriage: an Asian female viewpoint

In the Asian community when a girl hits the age of about 18/19 people begin to ask if she’s engaged or if proposals are coming for her. If proposals aren’t coming her way parents tend to get worried,  especially when others at that age are getting proposals. This is where things go wrong. When parents unconsciously begin to feel pressured when reality is that it’s an act of hesitance and leads to many issues, especially the case of the girls feeling isolated, pressured and a mere burden. If a girl isn’t engaged or married by the age of 24-26 they say bechari(poor girl). Why is she a bechari? 

Why is everything in a women’s life measured against marriage? How many proposals she gets, who she’s married to, how many kids she has, how happy her husband is, how pleased her in-laws are? Has anyone ever considered that this measurement, this pressure is the sole purpose to why girls are disgusted by the idea of marriage and run away from the whole concept. 

Boys are given the freedom to say “I’m ready now” whereas the girls keep yelling im not ready and it isn’t heeded. Sad isn’t it? Asian parents are inculcated by nature that daughters are someone else’s belonging, that they nurture them to only  give away one day. This then leads girls feeling like a burden. In such circumstances they feel like all their parents really want is riddance from them.

Which is not the case. Parents are dumped under societal pressure and act upon that pressure and lose focus of what their daughter really needs. The Asian culture is difficult, everyone knows of each other and people gossip heaps. The more mouths the more talk. Hence why parents are afraid of being badly reputed. But the solution isn’t neglecting your children’s needs.  The solution is cutting off those external people and doing what’s best for your children. People talk when you’re doing good, bad and even when you’re doing nothing. Also communication, parents to child is vital. Express your concerns and how it’s making you feel. 

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